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Friday, December 08, 2006
I cried till now still cant get to sleep.. wad am i really thinking? i dun wan u to pity me or wad. But i just wanna tell u how i feel.. i wanna to trEat u well, take cAre of you and protect u, not as a kor. but as a bf. tat's wad i haf decided on.. But i wun force my decision on u. And since u're not ready, den i dun wish to Stress u, or anything. i dun daRe to face u like how i used to. Mayb by telling u tis, is actually stressin u, but i just wanna get my message to u. What am i without u? if only time can turn back. Which i know its not possible. I really regretted of everything. I feel like a fool.. an idiot... why didnt i treasure you when i had the chance. If i was there at tat time, you wouldnt get hurt too. How i wish everything could b undone. i feel tat everthing's my fault. If there is any way tat i can do to undo my mistakes? I'm having this pain... i dunno why this time the pain is so much more intense than b4. so similar to the time when i attempting suicide. If only i can go back in time. Or even better, die and repay in my next life... All i wan now is for u to be here.. to be talking to me.. But seems like u decided to let go of everything instead... to reduce the pain for both of us...
Sigh.. i dunno how am i gonna enjoy my bday dinner.. nah.. not trying make u feel guilty or wad.. anyway.. tks for going out wif me.. i realli enjoyed ur company. missing ur smell, ur presence... how it lingers around me now.. i wan the pain to end.. so really.. thanks.. its a "special" advanced bday gift from u to me. take care.. i wan u to forget me is for ur own good.. not mine.. bcoz u'll b in my heart and i'll always b reminded of u.. my tears will just roll down unawarely.. lovin' u..
I went off at
Y6:20 AM
