Awakening
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
After watching The Love of Siam..
The 3 hour movie was long enough to bring a relation between me and the characters in it...
I don't know what came over me... But it make a big impact on me... And before i know it, i was breaking down in tears... and cried non stop for 8 long hours.. i can hardly grab hold of myself at all... Tis is the effect of bottling 4 years of sorrow, always showing the cheerful and strong front...
When i notice tat i'm starting to lose my vision.. i regain my sanity and tried to hold my tears back again... even now... while typing this post, my tears are still rolling down my cheek uncontrollably.
I no longer know who i am or what i am? What i actually want and everything? Even though i'm someone who very well know how to differentiate fantasy from reality.. I've all the while been trapped in my own world..
The feeling of locking myself up, away from everyone... I'm turning back into the old cry baby again.. but this time i have my own determination to make things right...
Its not about just saying it... but actually taking steps to achieve it... So... I hereby commence my plan to really get out of the homosexual society.. and i want to be normal... Maybe that's what i think is the right way... In order to achieve it.. I will permanently cut off connection with homosexual individuals..
So the only way to converse with me.. Is with this blog... though i'm changing the link soon..
First step of it... is to delete every account with connection with those people who took the wrong path in life.. which refers to Trevvy, G4M, Axcest, Fridae, friendster and facebook..
Also to delete all of the "things" in my msn and never to add them again..
I know i can't do this on my own.. but at least for now i need of own space to sort out my thoughts.. and be ready to face everything in a whole new aspect..
When i've done with things tat i had to do alone.. I'll need the help of my friends.. it may be hard for them too.. To look at me with another perspective..
So please give me the chance.. as everyone make mistakes.. At least let me undo the mistakes i've committed for more than 12 years..
I went off at
Y2:45 PM
